Christmas In London
by Brian Deer
Summary: When Carter gets a phone call from his uncle! he invites Peter and his family to come along on a trip to London. When they arrive, Brian falls in love with a rock star's girlfriend. When Mr. Gilligan hears about the news, he goes insane, and tries killing Brian... Ect.


A slow day in Rhode Island! While everyone waits for it to be that day, Lois gets a phone call, from her dad, saying that he will be visiting his relatives in London, and if it would be okay if the family came along.

"Yes will all be glad to visit your relatives!! Where do they live?" Lois asked. "London UK?. I don't know! I mean we were gonna have a fun time alone, but If your uncle isn't well, then will come alone" She said. Peter walks down stairs, to see what the commotion is about. "What's going on?" Peter asked, rubbing his eyes.

Lois calmly took a breath in... And... "Peter! Don't get mad. But daddy called and said, he needs help taking care of his uncle and relatives down in london" She said, covering her ears.

(Outside the house)

"FUCK FUCK FUCK, CHRISTMAS IS GOING TO BE FUCKING RUINED!!! BECAUSE OF YOUR FAMILY! IT'S BULLSHIT. I WAS GONNA TAKE YOU OUT TONIGHT, JUST ME AND YOU, BUT NO WE GOT TO GO, ACROSS THE FUCKING WORLD, JUST SO WHAT? WE CAN HELP PEOPLE, WE DON'T KNOW!!!" Peter screamed.

(Back inside)

Peter is covered in sweat from screamig so much, looking dizzy with a read face, he walks back up stairs! "IT'S CHRISTMAS EVE" He yelled from upstairs.

"I'm buying tickets" Lois said.

(Bob Hope international airport)

Everybody is ready to board, until quagmire stops the griffins from boarding. "Yeah I can't let you board this flight" Quagmire said. "Why not Glenn?" Loos asked, confused. Quagmire took a breath in... And...

"BEACUSE OF THAT MUTT!!" He screamed, pointing at Brian. "What the fuck did I ever do to you??" Brian yelled. "Alot of things, stealing my girlfriend, giving me a shitty home, when I helped you fix your nose and mouth, and on down the line" Quagmire screamed.

"I DID IT CAUSE YOU FUCKED ME UP REMEMBER!!" Brian yelled. "THAT'S BEACUSE YOU ALSO HAD SEX WITH MY DAD! SORRY YOU GUYS ARE TO NEVER BOARD MY PLANE AGAIN" He yelled, slamming the gate shut.

"Great now how are we gonna get to London?" Lois said. "How about asking grandpa for a ride?" Chris asked. "Yeah! besides he ownes a yaht, so he'll take us to london that way" Brain said.

"Fine!" Lois said, calling carter.

(Rhode Island Dock)

Carter has already began boarding his car, and other supplies, but gets interrupted. "Hey pumpkin, you on your way to london?" He asked. "No daddy! We can't cause of problems, you think you can pick us up?" Lois asked. "Sorry but I'm now boarding my yaht, but I'll wait for your family" He said. "Thanks daddy, bye" Lois said.

(Back at the airport)

"Alright guys, we are going to Rhode Island Dock, lets hurry" Lois said, before quagmire walked back out. "Hey! I was kidding, you guys can board! I just got soooo wasted last night and..." "NO GLENN!! MY DAD'S TAKING US, SCREW YOU" Lois screamed.

Everybody left, and drove off to the dock. (Over the radio) "Good morning quahog, this is Tom Tucker with your morning news! This just in the 1960s rock band, The Beatles are giving out free tickets, if you can guess this Christmas song. The number is 555-2525. (Joyce Kinney) That's right, if you can guess this song, written by the John Lennon and Yoko Ono, that was about the vietnam war, you can win 5 free tickets. (Both) Call us now!

"Oh peter call them, I know that song. It's Happy X-mas War is over" Lois said excitedly. "Not now babe, I'm playing angry birds." Peter said. "Peter I think you should just give lois your phone" Brian said. "No Brian! I'm almost on the last level" He said. As soon as he won, he lost control of his car, and crashed right into mort's pharmacy. (Mort walks out) "MY STORE, PETER BACK UP" Mort yelled.

"Go peter, go peter" Peter sung. "PETER BACK UP" Mort yelled, once more.

"Go... Huh, oh sorry mort" Peter said, "Do you take coupons?" Mort got upset, and pushed there car out of his store.

"Well we got off easy" Peter said.

(Quahog Warf)

Carter and Barbra, calmy wait in the captains quarters, for Peter. "Were are they? they were supposed to be here two... no three hours ago" Carter said, angrily. "Carter don't throw yourself into a heart attack, they'll be here soon" Barbra said.

Just then Peter slammed right into the side of the boat, causing it to sink. "YOU IDIOTS" Carter yelled, as he jumped onto the dock. Barbra began to panic, and jumped into the water. "You okay honey" Carter yelled. "Yes" She said, swimming to the dock.

"Look what you guys did! You ruined our trip. Now you have $200?" Carter asked. "Yes" Peter replied. "Good take that money, and go over there and rent that yaht" Carter said. Peter obayed and rented it. "Good now! were's your suitcase?" Peter asked. "It sunk! Just kidding. There a little wet, but they'll dry now let's go!!" Peter said.

"Okay everybody! Since Peter here wrecked our trip, he's gonna be our servent, until we get to london" Lois said. "Lois I don't wanna" Peter cried. "Hey fatman, settle me up for a flamming cocktail" Stewie said. "Yeah! and get me a dry martini" Brian added. Everybody began laughing and joking, but peter didn't have it. He locked himself in one of the rooms on the boat, and never came out.

(Middle of the Alantic Ocean)

It's been about 2 hours since he locked himself in, and everybody except for Carter, were getting worried. "I haven't heard from Peter all day! I hope he's okay!" Lois said. "Oh he'll get over himself" Brian said. "Your right Brian" Lois added.

(December 30th, 1975)

They've finally reach London, Peter came out, all exhausted, kinda like he just came from war. "Peter you look horrible, you feel okay?" Barbara asked. "Babs don't talk to him!!" Carter said.

"Don't tell me what to do! I'm just asking..." Barbra said, before Carter inturupted. "Not while were in my hometown!" Carter said.

Walking along the cities streets, were he walked with his family, Carter noticed a lot of things have changed. The people, the stores, and on down the line.

"Alright, Griffin you go with your family, and I go with Babs to have some slone time. Everybody meet here by 4PM" Carter said, walking off with Babs.

"Alright well now what?" Stewie said. "Well I'm gonna go and do. Find some women to, uhh you know talk to, grab a hot chocolate and sit by a roasting fire" Brian said.

"Okay! Everybody calm down. This is how It should go. Brian will hang out with Stewie! Meg and Chris can do whatever, and me and your father, will go for some hot chocolate, and sit by a warm fire" Lois said.

"Okay, now meet by parliament at 4PM" She also added.

Everybody left, and did there things. Brian and Stewie went out to find hot dates. Chris and Meg, went to explore Buckingham palace, and big ben. And Peter and Lois, did there things.

"So were are we going?" Stewie asked. "I heard Cremated was performing down at the Royal Horticultural Society Halls. I got to meet, Mr. Gilligan's girlfriend Alssya. She is to die for" Brian said. "I don't know, Brian Gilligan Is a powerful man, And will have anybody out of the stadium In a day" Stewie said.

"Stewie that's just a song! Now come on" Brian said.

(Meg and Chris)

"Hey Chris this says, that If you pull on the rope three times, the bell will chime ten times" Meg said. "Like this?" Chris pulls on the rope, causing it to chime ten times. "Aaaahh!!!" Meg screamed.

(Back to Brian and Stewie)

"Well it looks like we got here in time for, the rally!" Brian said. "Hey look there she is!!!!" He added, "Man she is so hot!"

Brian and Stewie enter the stadium, and wait for the show to be over.

I'm just gonna skip through my song! And get to the end.

(At the end, Brian and Stewie enter back stage, and wait!)

"Brian, are you sure were allowed back here" Stewie asked. "Stewie let me do my things, and shut the hell up" Brian replied.

Alssya walks out, to get a drink at the bar, and Brian makes his move. "Alright Brian! You can do this" He said in his mine. He walked over and tapped her on the shoulder. Alssya turns around and... "Hi I'm Alyssa, who are you?" She said. "Hey! I'm Brian Griffin, I see you enjoy dry martinis" He said.

"I do! are you a martini fan?" She asked. "I love dry martinis, anway I came to ask you if you wanna hang out" Brian said, as his face turned red.

"I love too, let me talk to my friend" Alssya said, walking off.

"Woooo!!! Brians gotta a date with a mans girlfriend, that is a man WHO WILL KILL YOU!" Stewie yelled. "Stewie your over reacting, now calm down" Brian said, rubbing Stewie's head. "But... But... But Brian? I love you. I don't want anything to happen to you" Stewie cried, into Brian's fur.

(Peter and Lois)

"Oh this is so remantical, watching the sun set over the mountains of London, and It's only 3:55PM" Lois said. "I know! and they let us in here for free!!" Peter said. "Haha! that's only because you begged them for a free buffett" Lois said.

"Yeah!" Peter repiled.

(Carter and Barbra)

Visiting some old places, they realize the time, and begin heading towards parliament, were they promised to meet. "Okay, complete new good bullshit check, drug dealers and murders check" Carter said, going through his list.

"Carter except the fact, that this is the 2000s not the 40s and 50s" Barbra said. "Well It's a dump now, full of crap?" He said.

(Brian and Stewie)

Walking along the streets of London, with Alssya! makes Brian feel loved again, he began thinking about marrying her too, but didn't wanna piss off Mr. Gilligan.

They decided to sit near the lake at the park, and began chatting. "Jeez Brian, your a really nice guy!" Alssya said. "Yeah! I have a great family, and stuff. I just need to find the right girl to cope with me, and not be a jerk" He said, holding her hand.

"Well I'll be the one, I'll cope with you! trust me, I'm the girl you'll love forever" She said. Brian gulped, and pulled her over kissing her, with the song Hold Me Now playing In his brain.

(I have a picture, pinned to my wall!! an image of you and of me, and were laughing, and loving it all! Look at our life now, tattered and tom! we fuss and we fight, and delight In the tears that we cry until dawn)

(Hold me now, woah! warm my heart. Stay with me, let loving start).

(Big Ben and Parliament: 4:03PM)

Everybody waits for Brian and Stewie. "Were the hell are they?" Lois asked. Out of the blue, Brian and Stewie come. "There you are! wow Brian who did you score this time?" She asked. Oh just a women named Alssya Achslen" He replied.

Everybody froze! "Wait Alssya Demm Achslen? Born July 29th, 1997?" Peter asked, shocked!!! "Yeah what's wrong?" Brian replied.

"Well, It's simple Brian!! Alssya Ach has a boyfriend who is a good, but powerful man, who started a rally tittled In the Wall! During every show, and always during the song tittled In the Wall, Part 2. He calls different people. Racist, Gays, Disguised fuckers, Drug dealers, and who ever he can get his hands on, out of the theater" Chris said.

"And If he finds out! He's been cheated on, he'll began questioning her, ti'll she tells the truth. And If she says your name, then your boned Brian" Lois added.

"Well could you help me?" Brian asked. "No!" Lois replied. "Hey bud, what about me ay? Stewie said, giving thr puppy eyes. Brian sighed, and didn't do anything.

"Oh poor Brian, I wish there was something that we can do" Lois said. Peter began thinking, and came up with the perfect Idea. "I got It!! what's the one thing, Mr. Gilligan has the fear?" Peyer asked. "Sex, porn, and nudity" Brian replied.

"That's It! Peter don't get mad. But I have to go up to his hotel room, and do naughty stuff to em'' Lois said.

"Well If It's to save Brian!! then Lois, I allow you" Peter said, Just don't mess around with the bell man, he punched me in the chest, when I called him a doofess.

Lois began running, but ran right into her parents. "Where are you going In this big rush?" Carter asked. Lois made up an excuse. "Ummm... I heard there was a sale going on down at the mall, for shoes, and I was gonna get you a pair"

"Well how thoughtful!! But we still have to see your great great grandpa, you can do that after dinner" Carter said, dragging Lois to there house.

(London Marrioett Hotel)

I began scrolling through channels, until Alyssa walked in. "Hey babe! Did you enjoy the scenery better, then I did?" I asked. Alssya just kept quiet, and layed on the bed. "I see your tired! I'll let you get your rest, goodnight" I said, turning off the light.

(Grandpa Pewterschmit House)

Everybody began helping themselves, to the flamming yawn, and caviar. But not Brian. He was more worried, about getting killed, and on down the line. He tried to calm down, by listenimg to music.

(Must the show go on! Ooh, Pa take me home, take me home, take me home!! Ooh, Ma let me go, let me go, let me go...)

"No not this song. It's talking about death" Brian said, flipping through the music.

Carter kept staring at his uncle, asking him ridiculous questions about thingd that happened a long time ago.

Peter sat on the couch watching TV, Lois and Barbra finnishing dinner, and Chris and Meg playing a game of crazy eights.

Stewie just sat in the corner playing with rupert, nothing really special about that.

Brian kept freaking out about how I was gonna kill him! So he calmed himself down, by listening to Linkin' Park.

Stewie noticed some of the weird behavior that Brian has doing, and asked him what was going on.

"Hey Bri' you alright" Stewie asked. "Huh? Oh yeah Stewie I'm fine!!" Brian said. "Still worried about that whole love situation?" Stewie asked.

"Yes!!!!" Brian cried, hugging Stewie. "Oh come on man, he won't kill ya" Stewie said. "How do you know?" Brian said, wipping the tears away from his face.

"Because he'll have to get past me" Stewie said, loading up one of his gun's. "Stewie don't kill him!! He'll possibly forgive me!!" Brian said.

"Okay! But... If he lays one finger on you, call me!!" Stewie said.

After dinner, carter asked, If anyone wanted to play a round of poker. Since his uncle went to sleep.

"Anyone up for a round" He asked, shuffling the cards. "I'll play with you grandpa" Chris said. "Me too!" Meg said. "As long as you don't cheat like last time, dear" Barbra said. "Hey It didn't count, he stole half of my chips" Carter said, placing the cards around.

After a long round, everyone headed to bed. Brian stayed up on his phone, deciding to contact Mr. Gilligan, and tell him the truth.

(London Marrioet Hotel)

While I was fast asleep on the chair, the phone rang!! I didn't answer, Instead I let the call go to the answering machine.

"Uuhh! Hi this Is Brian Griffin. I'm calling to let you know that... I made out with your girlfriend, and I'm sorry that I did! Please don't be mad" Brian said, over the machine.

Normally I don't use the answering machine!! Cause I don't get recordings over it, so I just ignored it.

(The Next Day)

Everyone kept exploring the town!! Brian was still nervous about me catching him. And boy was he wrong.

As he walked down near vauxhall bridge, he noticed me and my gang!! I peered over Kyle's shoulder and seen Brian walking with his family. And by the look of him! and the voice of him, I yelled out to him.

"I'll HAVE EACH AND ONE OF YOU MOTHERFUCKERS OVER THERE!!!" I screamed.

Brian gasped and began running. I too began running as fast as I can, I ended up catching up to him. Grabbing him by his collar, and dragging him up against the wall!

"Please don't hurt me!!" He cried. "THEN WHY THE FUCK DID I CATCH YOU WITH MY GIRLFRIEND???" I yelled, bringing up my fist.

"I'm sorry, she was just so attractive!!" He said, as he bit me on the leg. I screamed and let go!! He began running to catch with his family.

Kyle and my other band mates chased after him. Of course they got away!! But when I glanced back over to the bridge where Alssya was standing, she was gone.

"THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!" I screamed, he has fucked with the wrong person.

Brian and everyone kept running, and hid at the museum of art! "Wow I can't believe we escaped him" Stewie said.

"I know!! I just hope he doesn't find us" Brian said. "Yeah but why did you bite him?" Lois asked. "Didn't you see! he was going to punch me!!" He said.

Peter peeked out to check if the coast was clear, and noticed my car driving up. "Uhh... Brian, what kind of car does Mr. Gilligan drive?" He asked. "A 1976 cadillac fleetwood, why?" Brian said nervously.

Just then after seeing Peter's head, I went full force and ran streight into the museum.

"RUN!!!" I said creepyly. Everyone began fleeing. I pulled out my assult rifle, and began firing at them. I hit Chris In the back of the leg, and Meg In the head.

"Meh, I don't care If he kills Meg" Peter said.

As I kept firing, the police already had me surrounded! "I will soon have my reeeevvvaaanngee" I said, before being getting put In the back of a police van.

"I can't believe he shot Chris" Lois cried. "If I die, take care of my evil monkey" Chris mumbled.

Later that day, everybody left early!! Carter got pissed, but it was for his safety and his family.

While Brian was packing, Alssya came by and began crying into Brian's arms. "Oh Brian! I'm sorry that my boyfriend killed Chris, but I have to stay" She said.

"It's okay!! But why did he want to kill me?" Brian asked. "It's because he knows that I cheated. I didn't wanna tell you cause I didn't wanna break your heart. I think I'm falling in love with you" Alssya said, trying not to blush. Brian gulped, "But your his boyfriend, not mine!!" He said.

"I don't care!!" She said, pulling him over for a kiss. "Alssya I can't." he said, pulling her away.

Alssya didn't care, she took brian the hand, amd and took him to the bridge.

"Hey Lois! That girl and brian took off" Peter said. "He's fine! he left a note didn't he?" Lois asked. Peter looked over at the table, and glanced back at lois. "Neeee yeah" Peter said.

Will Brian ever accept Alssya's love? Will Mr. Gilligan ever bail out of jail? Stay tuned for part two!!

Sorry If my other stories haven't been finished! I've just been busy!!

Next story - Christmas In London (Part 2)


End file.
